25 Questions to Reconnect With Your Spouse

Every now and then, we lose a deep connection with our spouse. Busy schedules, kids, and work are often to blame. Get conversation going with 25 Questions to Reconnect With Your Spouse

25 Questions to Reconnect With Your Spouse.

It’s very easy to lose that close connection with your spouse. If you have kids, it’s almost bound to happen. Trying to juggle their schedules, work, and trying to squeeze in time for yourself and your spouse, is really a tireless effort.

Sometimes we disconnect without even meaning to. I mean, come on! Somedays, I don’t even know if I’ve showered! Gross, I know, but it’s the truth. Parents have little time for date nights and romantic evenings. In fact, we don’t even have a regular babysitter so our date nights are solely on Valentine’s day or our anniversary. Therefore, we try to do a lot of our date nights at home once the kids are in bed.

How to Reconnect

I’ve learned that time to reconnect has to be scheduled. I know how sterile that sounds! But hey, if I were to wait for it to happen organically, it would never happen! Am I right?

I find, I have to make it a priority and pencil it in like any other thing that is important. Reconnecting isn’t expensive. Sometimes it’s as simple as just having a conversation together and redefining where you want your marriage and family to go. It’s about learning your spouse. After all, people grow and change. Our goals and dreams change. If you aren’t growing together, you’ll grow apart.

It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

Frederich Nietzsche

I remember our pastor talked about this to my husband during our pre-marital counseling. He said dating is like a high school diploma and you should always be learning about your spouse to earn other “degrees.” As the years pass, and as you invest more time to learning your spouse, you graduate higher and higher in your marriage. I like that analogy.

Reconnecting With Your Spouse

Sometimes I think we have exhausted all topics of conversation. Thats why today, I’m sharing 25 questions to reconnect with your spouse. Think of them are conversations starters. Learn if your spouse has changed their views. Pose follow up questions to understand them better. Interview their heart.

25 Questions to Reconnect With Your Spouse

  1. What scares you about our future?
  2. When are you happiest?
  3. What do you like to do, that you wish you had more time to do?
  4. What makes you proud as a parent?
  5. Is this what you thought parenting would look like?
  6. What traits do you love in our children?
  7. What is your best memory of our kids so far?
  8. Are you satisfied with our lovemaking?
  9. How can I help you with stress in your life?
  10. Do you feel like your needs are being met? If not, what can I do?
  11. What kind of vacations would you like to take with our family?
  12. Where do you see us in 5 years?
  13. Are there boundaries you think we need to put in place to protect our marriage?
  14. What would make you feel closer to me?
  15. What kind of activities do you want to start doing together?
  16. Is there anything about our kids that worries you?
  17. How do you feel about our finances?
  18. How can I help you become closer to God?
  19. Is there anything you want to tell me?
  20. What’s your happiest moment of our life together?
  21. How do you envision our retirement?
  22. What worries you right now?
  23. Is there something you think we should be teaching our kids?
  24. What is something you’ve always wanted to do?
  25. Do you have any regrets?

Every now and then my husband and I ask each other similar questions to try and understand our vision for our marriage, our family, and our lives. I’d love to hear what other kind of questions you think are good to ask!


If you’re looking for more topics on marriage, see my post on Setting Healthy Boundaries in Your Marriage

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